The age-old adage ‘love is blind’ rings true in many ways, but perhaps none more so than when it comes to our expectations of those we care about. We often believe that if someone truly loves us, they should behave in a certain way, meet our needs, and fit into our preconceived notions of the perfect partner, friend, or family member. However, this way of thinking can lead us down a path of disappointment and heartache, as we may find ourselves loving people who don’t conform to our expectations, yet still show us unwavering devotion.
This is a concept that BK sister Shivani, a renowned spiritual leader, has highlighted in her profound quote, ‘People can do what we want them to do, and be the way we want them to be, but it does not mean they love us. There can be someone who is the opposite of how we want them to be. Because they carry different sanskars, but they truly love us. Let us not equate Love with Expectations.’
The truth is, love is not bound by conditions or expectations. It is a choice, a decision we make every day to accept, forgive, and understand those around us, even when they don’t meet our standards. When we let go of our expectations and focus on the genuine love and care that someone shows us, we open ourselves up to a deeper and more meaningful connection.
Breaking Free from Conditioning
We are often conditioned to believe that love should be a certain way – romantic, passionate, and all-consuming. We watch movies and read books that portray love as a whirlwind romance, and we may feel pressure to find a partner who checks all the boxes. However, this can lead to disappointment and heartache when reality doesn’t live up to our expectations. By recognizing that our conditioning is based on societal norms and cultural expectations, we can begin to break free from these constraints and focus on what truly matters – the love and connection we share with others.
Sister Shivani’s words remind us that people can have different ‘sanskars,’ or patterns of thought and behavior, that may not align with our own. Yet, it’s precisely these differences that can make our relationships richer and more fulfilling. By embracing the unique qualities that someone brings to the table, we can build stronger, more meaningful connections that are based on mutual respect and understanding.
Take, for example, a friend who is always late, but never fails to show up with a listening ear and a kind word. Or a partner who doesn’t meet our expectations of romance, but consistently shows us love and support in their own way. By letting go of our expectations and focusing on the genuine love and care that someone shows us, we can build deeper, more meaningful connections that transcend societal norms and cultural expectations.
The Power of Unconditional Love
Unconditional love is a powerful force that can transform our relationships and our lives. When we choose to love someone without condition, we open ourselves up to a deeper and more meaningful connection. We learn to accept and appreciate the unique qualities that someone brings to the table, and we focus on the love and connection that we share, rather than the expectations we have of one another.
By practicing unconditional love, we can build stronger, more resilient relationships that are based on mutual respect and understanding. We can learn to communicate more effectively, to listen more deeply, and to show up more fully for those around us. And when we do, we may find that our relationships become more fulfilling, more meaningful, and more transformative than we ever thought possible.
So the next time someone close to you doesn’t do what you hoped they would, take a step back and reflect on your expectations. Ask yourself if you’re equating love with expectations, and if so, what would happen if you let go of those expectations and focused on the genuine love and care that someone shows you. You may be surprised at the depth and richness of the connection that you can build with others when you let go of your expectations and choose to love unconditionally.
Loving Beyond Expectations
Loving beyond expectations requires us to be present, to listen, and to understand. It requires us to let go of our preconceived notions and to focus on the unique qualities that someone brings to the table. And it requires us to choose love, again and again and again, even when it’s difficult or inconvenient.
When we choose to love beyond expectations, we open ourselves up to a world of possibility and connection. We learn to see the best in others, to appreciate their unique qualities, and to build stronger, more resilient relationships that are based on mutual respect and understanding.
So let’s make a choice to love beyond expectations. Let’s choose to see the good in others, to appreciate their unique qualities, and to build stronger, more meaningful connections that transcend societal norms and cultural expectations. By doing so, we may just find that our relationships become more fulfilling, more meaningful, and more transformative than we ever thought possible.
As BK sister Shivani so profoundly reminds us, ‘Let us not equate Love with Expectations.’ By choosing to love beyond expectations, we can build deeper, more meaningful connections that are based on genuine love, care, and understanding.
And that’s a love worth choosing.
